It's "Wedding Wednesday" and our question today comes to us from Kristina in Northern California. Kristina asks, "Who is supposed to host the bridal shower?" She said she has been getting a lot of conflicting advice on this one (which I am not surprised).
So here it is, "traditionally", etiquette states that only the friends of the bride are supposed to host a shower because it is considered inappropriate for the family to asks for gifts. Another words, it appears to others as self-serving for family members of the couple to throw a bridal shower.
But nowadays, since weddings have become such grand events things have changed a bit and it has now become more acceptable for a range of people to host the shower.
Just remember if you are speaking to someone who is a stickler for traditional etiquette they will definitely let you know that proper etiquette states that it is improper for family members to ever take part in the planning of a shower. You can now explain to Ms. Manners that while she is technically correct, this is not always the case today - as events get less traditional and more elaborate - people other than the bridesmaids and family friends are now playing host. I am never surprised when I find out that the bride’s mother & sisters (sometimes even the groom’s mother) are hosting showers.
A few things to keep in mind when hosting a bridal shower:
Make sure the guest list includes the bridal party, close friends and family. Just remember, anyone you invite to a shower should also be invited to the wedding. There are exceptions, of course; like if you’re having a small destination wedding, you can include people who aren’t invited to the Big Day as guests to the shower but you definitely should not do this if you are having a bigger wedding.
Send your invites out 6 - 8 weeks in advance. I recommend paper; although I know many brides are opting for email invitations these days - I personally think this is a huge NO NO! The exception to this rule would be if your bride herself is sending her wedding invitations via email - if so, I would recommend following suit and sending the bridal invitations via email as well. You do not want to upstage her modern, electronic invitations with a customary paper one. And, yes, you can mention where the bride is registered on the invitation or on an insert included in the envelope (I think most people prefer the latter).