All Things For All Parties

Thanksgiving Dinner Manners

Ok the big Thanksgiving Day Feast is almost here and it always seems like when you get so many people together especially family things can go downhill very quickly so I thought it would be good to have a little refresher in some Thanksgiving game day rules:

Where Am I Sitting?

 
Photo by 1WeddingSource.com

Your Aunt thinks your Mom's Best Friend is nothing but a pretentious social climber and refuses to sit anywhere near "that woman" and your friend Shannon finds it highly insulting to be sat at the "singles" table just because she's "single."  It never ceases to amaze me at how petty people can get when it comes to seating at the reception...What to do? Well, with a little diplomacy and common sense, you can create a seating plan that will make "almost" everyone happy.

B.Y.O.B. Wedding

 Photo by Once Wed

I get that times have changed when it comes to traditional wedding etiquette and I must admit I have pretty much heard it all when it comes to wedding questions but this one takes the cake...literally. 

I received an email from a guest to an upcoming wedding and this is what she said, "The bride & groom are asking for guests to bring food & drink to their reception. This seems highly inappropriate. Do you know of anyone else who has ever such a thing?"

Well, I say...Wowza!  This seems more like a potluck than a wedding. I truly don't know very many people that wouldn't be confused by this one; especially since this is a gift giving event. Unless this is a family only, informal wedding, guests should definitely be treated as guests and at the very least served a meal and entertained.  If you cannot afford a wedding there are a lot of other wonderful ideas that are much less expensive; like a brunch or dessert reception.  Weddings can be expensive I understand that but you should never make your guests feel like they are the ones imposing on you. 

What are your thoughts on this one?  Please share!

 

 

Singles Plus One or Not!

 
Photo by Elizabeth Anne Designs

Not only have I gotten this question a lot but I myself struggled with this one for my own wedding; so I am going to share it with you and I would love to know your thoughts.

My cousin's daughter is getting married and she and her fiance are paying for most of their wedding; they are definitely on a very tight budget. They really want to be able to invite all of their friends and family as well their single friends with a "guest." She asked me if it would be acceptable to invite single family and friends but not include "and guest" on their invitations? Her fiance feels like they should definitely allow wedding guests to bring a date but she feels like if they do this than they will not be able to invite other people because they will now be obligated to let their single friends bring a guest that they can't afford.

When to Give a Wedding Gift

 
I actually get this question a lot and since a friend of mine was having this very argument with her MIL this week I thought I would share it with you. 

The question is:  I have heard conflicting views about how long you have to give a wedding gift?  Is it a year or not?

And the correct answer is:  The notion that there is a 12-month grace period is actually a pure myth.  A wedding gift is given to celebrate the occasion, not the first anniversary!

In most cases, gifts should be sent as close to the wedding date as possible.  (However, in some areas and cultures, it’s customary to bring gifts to the wedding ceremony and place them on a designated table at the reception.)

 

Bachelorette Party Etiquette

 

I got this question from a friend of mine who is getting married in the late fall and I thought it was a good question to share with you today since it seems like one that comes up a lot.

She (the Bride) told me that only two of her bridesmaids can go to her girls' weekend in Vegas and she wanted to know if she should I say something to the three who are not going?

I truly believe it takes a lot to get the nerve up to let your BFF know that you cannot attend one of her cherished wedding events especially one as fun as a weekend getaway but I truly believe that this is one of those times when silence is golden. We are not all on the same page when it comes to life and a lot of time the reason  bridesmaids (or other friends) are probably skipping the Vegas getaway is usually because of financial issues, work obligations or time constraints. Truth is, these kinds of weekends are really difficult to pull off even for the most loyal friends. Talking to them about their decision not to go would only make all of you feel uncomfortable. Instead, schedule some local fun with the girls who can't leave town.

 

Proper Dining Etiquette

 
 
Dining Etiquette
Charm school rules apply to everyone, hostess and guest alike.  Table manners play an important role in showing appreciation and respect to the hostess and good table manners make a favorable impression to friends, family and colleagues alike.  Often times the ill informed - and most often: not ill mannered - will unknowingly break bread to the right, throwing off other guests and the time honored rules that dictate that water and wine be served on the right and bread on the left.  So, if you are a hostess, a parent, a manager or team leader it certainly is your place to sound a simple, well toned reminder to your constituents that “solids are to the left, liquids to the right”.  This may be especially appreciated by younger guests that are well intentioned but often uninformed to the proper rules of dining.  Also, when in doubt as to which utensil to rely upon for a particular course in the meal - start from the outside of the place setting and work toward the main meal plate: soup spoon first, then fish knife and fork, then service knife and fork.  Often times the main plate in a place setting is known as a "service plate," and is never actually eaten from.  It will either be removed when the first course is brought, or the dish will be set on top of it.  Remember, for a formal place setting, you will receive exactly as much silverware as you will need, arranged in precisely the right order.  A formal hostess will see to it that each utensil will go seamlessly with each course.

Inviting Out of Town Family to Your Shower

 
photo by MarthaStewart.com

I think most brides give a lot of thought to who they should or should not invite to certain events and I think it's only natural to wonder if you should invite out-of-town family and future in-laws to your shower(s).

I say you should absolutely invite them - they will be thrilled to be included. It's a thoughtful gesture that shows you're thinking of them and hope they could be there, even though it's unlikely that they'll be able attend. One thing to keep in mind is that you don't have to invite all the women on your fiancé's guest list. After all, a shower is supposed to be a party for a bride's closest friends and family members, so be sure and send invites to your fiance's immediate family (i.e. mom, grandmothers, sisters) and maybe a few of his closest friends. It's doubtful that they'll think you're being greedy—in fact, they're more likely to feel slighted if you leave them out. 

 

Inviting Your Friend's Friends to Your Wedding?

 
Photo by TheKnot.com

Ok, so one of my fiance's groomsmen (and his wife) would like to invite a few people that my fiance and I know casually. He said he thinks it would be the right thing to do since we have all hung out on occasions but I should also mention that we are not close in fact I would consider them his friends not ours. If we add these people it won't cost too much more but we barely know them. I asked my fiance about it and he said he would pay the extra for them but doesn't really care if they come or not. I am not going to ask my fiance to pay for them and we are on a very tight budget. My fiance really doesn't want to upset his friend. What should I do?  Should I talk to the groomsmen?

Wow!  This is definitely a tough one or is it?!  Hmmm, I think since this is not just some informal get together it is ok to say no this time.  I would say something like this to your fiance's groomsmen, "Bob, we absolutely adore the Smiths and the Hunters but unfortunately we are on a very tight budget and as it is we have already had to cut close (empasis on the CLOSE) family and friends from the guest list.  After the wedding we are planning to host a BBQ with a few friends and we would love to include them.  I hope you understand our predicament."  I think most people understand how expensive weddings are these days and unfortunately you can't always include everyone. 

In the words of good ole Honest Abe, “You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.

 

Wedding Etiquette for Divorced Parents

 

I thought this was a great question especially since this was a question I had to answer for my own wedding.

Q. My parents have been divorced for almost 10 years now after being married for 20+ years; my father is now remarried and to say that my mother does not like his new wife would be an understatement.  My mother has made it a point to exclude my step mother from most of my events, including showers and bachlorette parties, and she definitely does not want her to be around the morning of the wedding. I should also say that I actually get along great with my step mother but I don't want to upset my Mother.

So, here are my questions...

1. How does the seating work at the church for my parents and their spouses?

2. Does etiquette dictate that the both of my parents will need to greet our family and friends together at the reception?