A Wacky Tacky Wedding

 

Ok so after reading this question I think I am going to compile a top ten list of tacky wedding etiquette questions or just plain unbelievable!  Well, if I ever do this question will definitely be at the top of my list...

Question:  My fiance and I were both already married but we are sending out invitations that we will be exchanging vows in a local park near our home and would like for our friends and family to attend. It will be a civil ceremony so we won't be having a formal reception. Our invitations have noted this (that there is no formal reception); we have also asked that guests do not bring any gifts as they will be respectfully declined. We have decided to have dinner after the ceremony at a local restaurant with our wedding party and families. When we all get together for a special occasion whether it be a birthday, wedding anniversary or mother/father's day we each pay for our own meals and for the parents. The same will be the case on our wedding day. For those who will be joining us on our wedding day, how do we go about letting them know that we pay for our own and each person will also need to be prepared to pay for their own meal? How do I word this on the reply card?

Answer:  Yikes!!  Is this is a real question?  If so, please forgive me for having to tell you like it is...DON'T HAVE A WEDDING PLEASE!  Of all the wackiest questions that couldn't be resolved through an ounce of self pndering this just might take the cake. Look: although this may be your family custom, it definitely is considered rude for others. You should never invite guests to an event as special and as full of customary etiquette as a wedding and then ask them to pay for it. If you cannot afford to pay for your guests, it is better not to invite them... nothing wrong with you, him and the justice of the peace.

Also, regarding the gifts you should never ever mention gifts on your wedding invitation; even when you are asking for none.

Dear Readers - How would you have answered this question???

Comments

[Lori]

I'm surprised this person would even know about your site...social and couture seem out of their vocabulary. Good grief.

[Brenda]

Can't they just elope..why even invite people to pay their own way. Awful!

[Kathleen]

First of all, there is no rule that says you can't have a reception just because you are getting married in a civil ceremony. The most important rule you need to remember when beginning to plan your wedding is simple – you have what you can afford. Do NOT even mention the restaurant dinner on your invitation! Since you are getting married in a park, move a picnic table near the ceremony site, cover it with a tablecloth, lay your bouquet on the table for decor and provide simple refreshments such as punch or lemonade in a beautiful glass dispenser (that you could rent) Purchase some sheet cakes (can be bought cheaply from a grocery store bakery) some pretty disposables and that should be sufficient. Have the dinner for the family and friends who are used to the traditional way of paying in your circle. (But even they might be thrown for a loop since this is a wedding!) It is correct that you NEVER mention gifts on a wedding invitation. Respectfully decline them? I don’t know how you could do that – I would be offended. Hopefully, there might even be some cash gifts to help defray the cost of the park reception. Are you providing seating for the ceremony? If not, doing it this way might save you the cost of the response cards unless you are providing chairs for the guests for the ceremony and really do need a head count.